Small Life, Big Purpose

The delivery was perfect, but my little man needed time in the NICU after birth to be in the best of health to be sent home.  We spent 10 days at the hospital.  When I planned my stay I allotted for two days in the hospital, so 10 days with an infant in the NICU was a very big deal.  I stayed at the hospital the entire time.  I visited every 3 hours for feedings and stayed with him for an hour during my visits. 12, 3, 6, and 9 were numbers I became well acquainted with during that time.  I spoke with doctors and nurses and visited with other mommies and their babies and enjoyed taking a peek at the new babies that surrounded me.

You were his precious little neighbor.  So small but your story was grand.  I remember talking with the other NICU moms and seeing your progression through photos.  It was beautiful to glance in on you while I visited Noah.  So small all, 4 months of you.  The Family Room celebrated your monthly milestones; I got to share them through stories.  Sometimes you would fuss and cry and a nurse would check in on you, comfort you, and visit for a while.  You would get so upset and your whole body would flush!  You made sure you were heard.

I still get choked up thinking about you.  Who wouldn't?  I cry as I type this because your mother's cries still ring in my ears.  I never met her and when I finally could have had a chance of meeting her, you became very ill and they closed you in a room with her by your side.  You were on the schedule to go home several times, but your health gave in right before each departure and the hospital had to keep you for a bit longer. 
You grandparents and other family members came to say good bye. As I visited with Noah,  I would say a tiny prayer for you.  How can someone so young and fought so hard to live leave us so early? 

The day you passed was the longest and emotional day during our stay at the hospital.  I held my son and thanked God that He was giving me an extra day with him.  I prayed that God would bless my son with outstanding health, and I prayed that your mother would heal from the loss of her very first child.  No mother should have to deal with the loss of a child and your passing stirred the inner fears of all us whose children were in NICU. 

I want to thank you.  Thank you for reminding me to cherish every moment.  Thank you for reminding me to take a moment and even watch my little ones sleep.  I watch my boys and soak in every detail of their being.  I try to take pictures in my mind and file that memory so I can visit it later.  Noah is nine months and I stayed home this entire time with him.  I think a large portion of my decision has to do with you.  I was determine to start my career, but after you taught me how precious life is I decided to enjoy Noah's first year of life.  Thank you for reminding me what is important in life.

One more thing, I absolutely did not forget you.  I want to wish you a happy belated birthday. 

A Baby Story...Part 3

Noah was born at 8:41 AM.  He was quickly wrapped and taken to the warming table for clean up.  I watched in the distance as they rubbed him clean and attempted to arouse a cry.  Everything happened so quickly and this part of his story is a blur.  As my doctor continued his work, I was preoccupied with the little person I carried for 9 months.  They put him on the scales and announced the he weighed 7 pounds 8 oz. He was measured... 19 inches.  The nurses began to murmur as they quickly brought him to me.  They were still rubbing him and although he cried, they were not pleased by it.  Before I could really enjoy his warmth against me, they told me they had to check his breathing and they rushed my beautiful Noah to the NICU. 

It would be hours before I could see my lovely newborn.  As I recovered in the room my husband checked on the baby.  Noah had aspirated during delivery and was breathing over 100 breaths per minute.  They had to place him under oxygen and run tubes in his lungs to remove excess liquids.  His pediatrician was not in the office that day so the assistant director of the NICU decided to make Noah his patient.  This was the best news we could receive.  The doctor provided Noah the best care possible and spent time personally explaining every detail of Noah's medical treatment.  Along with his irregular breathing and aspirating at birth, Noah's blood work came back with his white blood cells hiked up to levels that concerned the doctor.  He placed Noah under watch for 3 days and he gave him antibiotics to help fight whatever ailment that was growing in Noah.

I was completely thrown.  When I envisioned the birth of Noah I did not think about the possibility of complications.  I planned the whole pregnancy and I even had a tentative schedule of my stay at the hospital.  Noah was going to teach me that sometimes life cannot be planned.

A Baby Story...part 2

I believe that the medicine given to me at the beginning of my labor really helped prolong the entire delivery.  I was so comfortable that even the contractions subsided for a while.  It was at about 6:30 in the morning when the nurse came in and asked me to lay on my right side.  She thought it might help remind my body that I was in labor.  She was definitely right!  The contractions picked up and about an hour later I began feeling the pressure of the contractions again!  Noah was on his way! 

Now for my doctor...he was not on call that evening!  Talk about being stressed out at the idea that a doctor I may meet for the very first time will have to deliver my baby boy.  I was bummed out about not having my doctor at the hospital checking in on me with his quirky commentary.  However, in walked in my doctor, bright eye and bushy tail, at 8 in the morning!  Whew!  Nice of you to join us doc! 

I guess Noah was thinking the same thing because when the doctor checked me we were just about ready to deliver.  I was told that my doctor would return in 30 minutes to start prepping for the delivery and hopefully Noah would join us shortly after that.  Well baby boy had other plans!  I called the nurses back into the room at 8:15 and requested that they find my doctor because Noah was NOT going to wait until 8:30!  Boy was I right!  Noah was born at 8:41 in the morning.  Talk about perfect timing doc!  (By the way, my doctor has offered to deliver all my "easy to birth" babies!)

A Baby Story... Pt. 1

I was excited to be completely done with college before the baby arrived.  In my mind I would have enough time to get all the little things completed around the house.  I am quite the over achiever.  I enjoy the motto, "Go big or go home," and "Why do when you can over do?"  But baby Noah had other plans! 

Noah was born May 12, 2001; 4 days shy of his due date.  The evening of the 11th I was cramping and had discomfort but I refused to believe that little Noah was wanting to make his grand entrance.  I was also dreading going to the hospital too early and getting stuck there with nothing to eat.  By 11 in the evening I gave in and agreed to go to the hospital and get "checked out."

Unfortunately I was there to stay...I should have stopped and grabbed a fourth meal!!  My doctor was not on call so I was taken care of by the second shift nurses until the arrival of my doctor.  I love the nurses at my local hospital.  They were attentive and made me feel comfortable throughout the entire delivery. 

For my first son, I had an all natural, no medicine birth.  It was the worse possible self-induced pain ever!  I made a decision that I would not put myself in that predicament again and I had the nurse call in the anesthesiologist as soon as I was settled in the delivery room.  I was going to do this right!  Weeks prior to this special event, I took the time to watch videos of epidural procedures so I would be aware of the entire process.  I hoped that this would eliminate the stress of the unknown.  It did the complete opposite.  It stressed me out more than if I went in clueless!  My lovely husband was there to lend his support...or so I waited!  Kevin tried to remain out of the anesthesiologist's way and ultimately got stuck because the anesthesiologist was up, alert, and super quick compared to my husband's tired, overwhelmed, slow motion speed!  Thankfully my lovely nurse entered the room as soon as the needle was inserted in my spine and provided a supportive hold for me.  My husband was apologetic and thankfully for him the medicine had an instant relief to all pain and we were able to get some sleep. (I am not a big medicine fan but this was definitely the way to go when delivering a child!)

Almost 5 Years in the Making

College has been an adventure.  I loved the first two years of my college career.  While others moaned when they had to take those general educational courses, I was elated.  I loved my speech class and my science courses where interesting.  My Comp writing courses were a breath of fresh air.  I loved how I could choose my own topic and write papers on my choice topics until my heart was content.  Call me crazy but I loved the freedom.

The next two and a half years I entered and completed my degree in the College of Education.  The series of courses that I had to take were a bit more demanding than my previous two years of college.  When I say a bit more demanding, I mean it took away most of my personal free time.  Do not get me wrong, my experiences were profound and I learned so much from my experiences in the College of Education but I am relieved that my brain can finally take a break for a while.  I spent plenty of hours in the books and not enough hours in bed.  Even my professors would suggest that I take a break and close the books at an earlier time.  That was just impossible.  I was not satisfied with turning in mediocre work or even work that was "just enough."  I couldn't do it!  Sometimes I wish I could and I would even ALMOST turn in work below my own expectations and I would fold and produce a satisfying product.

I learned a great deal in my educational courses.  I understand the development of children and the process of children under the age of 13.  I feel this will be of a benefit with my new addition in my home as well as my nine year old son.  I look forward to entering my own classroom in the future and I am excited on my future educational endeavors!